Friday, July 9, 2010

30 Days of Truth- Day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Yes, I'm a day behind. But I refuse to rush and I plan to finish this at my own pace, tyvm.

So, something I have to forgive myself for is for my car accident in Oct. of 2008. No one was hurt, except my poor car, but I keep replaying it over and over in my head. Playing the "What If" game with myself, which doesn't make it any better. I think about it every time I get in the car, every time my husband steps on the brakes a bit too forcefully, and every time I actually dare to get behind the wheel. Fear and anger are a way of losing your independence just as surely as being without transportation entirely. For almost a year, I refused to get behind the wheel at all, except if we were already on the highway. City driving still holds terror for me and it wasn't even a bad accident. I just happened to hydroplane into a Hummer... the Hummer won. The most I will drive in the city by myself even now, is to the grocery store three blocks over. And only when absolutely necessary.

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