Saturday, April 29, 2017

Feeling Lost

I haven't sewn anything in my house in over a month. I'm feeling a bit lost and frazzled and there's lots of reasons for that. The biggest is that I'm officially a stay-at-home mom right now to a very active 2-year-old, and have been for the past three weeks. My husband works at least 11 hours a day, 5 to 6 days a week, so I see him only briefly and I have to get up with our son almost every day, so by the time his day(s) off come around, I'm physically and mentally exhausted. Of course, the whole being 33 weeks pregnant thing isn't helping there either.

The other problem is that my husband and our friend helped me move most of my crafting stuff down into the basement, but it's still a pretty big mess and every time I go down there to try and put stuff away, I realize that I just don't have the space for everything, but don't know what to get rid of, and I feel defeated and just sit on the bed and stare at it all. My machine is sitting on my sewing table, but isn't plugged in. I haven't worked on my commission quilts, even though both tops are done and I know what I want to do quilting wise for at least one of them. I've got ideas for the other one. And I think the worst part is that I know I need a creative outlet in my life, but I can't make myself do anything.

On top of that, I miss our families. It's like a great gaping hole in my chest. We managed to get two Michigan trips in the past two months while we've both been looking for work. It was so nice to be near family, to drop our son off at his grandparents for a night or two and actually both get to sleep in, to bring dinner over to my sister who is dealing with a newborn and an active toddler, or just congregate at her place to eat dinner together. To be there to support my father-in-law through the recovery for his eye surgery and give him something to take his mind off having to be face down and just generally let our son run around with his cousins. We have a pretty good support system here as well, but it's not the same.

1 comment:

  1. oh dear you are having tough time, the terrible twos and another on the way, hang in there once the baby is born I am sure you will fell less exhausted thought there will be night feeds etc but the joy of a new born I am sure will make life wonderful