My grandfather died yesterday morning. When my dad called to tell me, I cried for a little bit. But I don't think it's sunk in quite yet. Immediately I started thinking about my choices, what my grandmother (my father's mother) would do now, etc. My maternal grandmother once called my mother a cold fish, because she was thinking about what to do if my dad were to die after he had his heart attack several years ago. I think I've inherited this trait, to start thinking about what to do next no matter how bad the situation. But is that because I have no heart, or because I'm able to keep thinking logically in a horrid situation.
Also, as soon as I had made the decision to fly to Germany for the funeral I felt much calmer. I made a decision, I did some research, I booked my flight... sadness averted until the funeral. Is that just a coping mechanism, or am I really that unfeeling?